Is your mate your best friend? Well, that may be a little idealistic, but your mate can be one of your best friends. With as much time as you spend together, you want to be close friends.
So if you want to have your significant other be your best friend, how do you go about it? Given that you know a lot about this area already due to current and past friendships, it may not be that hard. There are some commonalities worth noting.
A first important quality of best friends is lack of criticism and judgment. You don't want to spend time with your mother if she's criticizing you, your mate doesn't want to spend time with you if you're criticizing them.
Another key to best friends is listening. One of the things we like about our best friends in life is that they actually listen to us. They treat what we have to say as important. They arent usually distracted and doing ten other things while they listen.
So do you really take the time to listen to your lover? Do you drink them in and make the feel heard at a deeper level? This goes a long way to creating that best friend experience.
An additional aspect of best friendship is the opposite of the last. Talking instead of listening. With best friends, we can talk about deeper things. We can share problems that we don't have all worked out. We tend to tell best friends what's really going on with us.
This includes talking about our hopes and dreams. If we are thinking of starting a business, we will tell a best friend because they will not ridicule us and be more supportive.
So you can have your mate be your best friend by working on these same areas. Be less critical and more accepting. Listen and make your mate feel heard and understood. Risk yourself and share some of your deeper dreams and hopes and encourage your mate to do the same. You may need to train your mate and yourself over time to do these things, but they will pay off.
So if you want to have your significant other be your best friend, how do you go about it? Given that you know a lot about this area already due to current and past friendships, it may not be that hard. There are some commonalities worth noting.
A first important quality of best friends is lack of criticism and judgment. You don't want to spend time with your mother if she's criticizing you, your mate doesn't want to spend time with you if you're criticizing them.
Another key to best friends is listening. One of the things we like about our best friends in life is that they actually listen to us. They treat what we have to say as important. They arent usually distracted and doing ten other things while they listen.
So do you really take the time to listen to your lover? Do you drink them in and make the feel heard at a deeper level? This goes a long way to creating that best friend experience.
An additional aspect of best friendship is the opposite of the last. Talking instead of listening. With best friends, we can talk about deeper things. We can share problems that we don't have all worked out. We tend to tell best friends what's really going on with us.
This includes talking about our hopes and dreams. If we are thinking of starting a business, we will tell a best friend because they will not ridicule us and be more supportive.
So you can have your mate be your best friend by working on these same areas. Be less critical and more accepting. Listen and make your mate feel heard and understood. Risk yourself and share some of your deeper dreams and hopes and encourage your mate to do the same. You may need to train your mate and yourself over time to do these things, but they will pay off.
About the Author:
You can learn much more about intimacy in the free course 7 Vital Relationship Insights You Might Never Figure Out On Your Own at How To Have The Love And Intimacy You Want. Johnnie S Laney teaches classes about relationship and emotional intelligence and you can get more here Help To Increase Relationship Intimacy.
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